Its being reported that the bride price for potential brides in the Cross River/Akwa Ibom axis has gone up by 2000% since Pastor Adeboye's alleged advise to his members not to marry wives who can't cook.
The bride price for Ibo girls has however , dropped drastically during the same period. But our investigations reveal that the current scarcity of forex is responsible for this, and not any religious fatwah.
In a related development, the scarcity of eligible brides in the Edo/Delta axis is reaching epidemic proportions, as most have relocated to Italy for greener pastures, forcing the bride price out of the reach of some aspiring grooms, an act that has now forced them to look for wives in places as far as Mauritius, just like the comrade Governor.
Our investigations also reveal that because of attempts to discourage child marriages in the North due to the widespread cases of VVF, the randy men who can't get it up for any girl older than ten years have resorted to kidnapping, under the guise of religion, of young, supple Christian girls from the minority areas in the north, or girls from the south south.
To confirm this abomination, the sultan also recently endorsed Muslim/Christian marriage, with the unspoken caveat that the woman is the Christian.
Our reporter however could not confirm the status in the Yoruba area as his wife took over the remote to watch African Magic , and his computer to watch Yoruba movies.
He has however vowed that once his sexual privileges are restored, he would forward that aspect of the investigation.
Meanwhile, since the return of facial hair into fashion, it's been difficult for the Boko Haram to identify their real members from potential targets. And to confirm membership, all Haramites are now required to shave their eyebrows.
This will serve as ID and gatebpass to collect their seventy virgins once they get to heaven, our sources said.
Culled from NEWS FOR DUMMIES 101.
My Ten Kobo
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